about shmabila

[Sh]an.

I love fresh air. I love the moon that shines. I am starting to like the sun that brings the day. And I really hate the sounds of ringing phones; jarring. The occasional irreverence? Guilty as charged. But who isn’t? A constant daydreamer? No doubt. TV, movies, sports, music, photography, literature, wanderer: they were discovered in succession and with passion over 22 years of my life. I am blessed with the ability to let go and relax, sometimes a little too much, I confess. In this insane world, the paradoxical nature of change is the cause of it all. So whatever I say now, may not apply in the next sixty seconds. I don’t think being a Singaporean is a bad thing at all. But living in Singapore is. There are loads of things that interest me and there loads that don’t. Religions and their histories fascinate me, but a subscription to one? Hardly. I love the french language, as the merv says it best, ‘it’s like wiping your arse with silk‘. It is useful to step back and think of each and everyone of us as just homo sapiens once in a while. I don’t see the point in constant validation. While brit is my default brand of humour, I can’t fault the Americans for trying and improving too. By now, I look back to see what I’ve written. I know it’s not all coherent. I take immense pleasure in knowing that I love eating and cooking. Always looking for fellow gluttons and chill-pills. Oh yes, incoherence. Take a chance, take the plunge. You might just like me.

[Ma]y.

Music has always filled my life from young, but somewhere along the way, so did movies, television, photography and sports. As much as I wish I were a master of something, most of the time I just see myself as a jack of all trades, dabbling in a little of everything but never really great in any of them. Many people know me to be wildly patriotic – never shying away from proclaiming how great I think our administration is in getting us to where we are today. Putting up the National Flag every year around August is something I look forward to every year, and I feel so strongly about my country’s achievements in sporting events that tears of pride well up in my eyes easily. Much as I love this country, though, I’ve discovered in recent years that I’ve become open to the idea of settling down in a different place. That may have to do with having spent a good six months in the US. That said, however, settling down is still a totally different idea from giving up my status as a Singaporean. Singapore isn’t perfect – nowhere is – but it sure is great, and definitely good enough for me.

The past three years in CS feels like it’s gone past in the blink of an eye, and as much as I would much rather take exams over a project of such a large scale any time, I also can’t think of a better way to finish this incredible journey. Through the project, I want to give our Chinese friends a platform on which they can tell their story. Our platform may not be one that can actually create some change (though I hope it will). But at the end of the day I want to at least let them feel that someone – even if it is just one – has listened, and not just heard; related, and not just to speak. And while the process may be sheer torture (it already is sometimes), I hope it is the kind of pain that I can look back fondly at, and acknowledge that it is something that made me stronger instead of killing me.

Na[bila].

I love to write. I write about my thoughts in private and when I don’t get to, it can kill me. I was so thrilled to know we would have a blog, and pardon me, but I am one of those who write long blog pages with thousands of paragraphs. But I digress. I love to write, and I love to explore new things. When I decided to join the team, I was, once again, in the shoes of the inquisitive. I like new experiences and working with May and Shan has been a great experience, and has been enjoyable so far!

Working on this project has also made me appreciate my life here in Singapore. I may not always get what I want, I can’t speak Mandarin to communicate with that fair-faced sweetheart at the bubble tea shop who can’t speak a complete sentence in English, and I can’t talk about religion in the open, but I realise I am grateful I’m not living in a container and facing hostility wherever I go. That’s the irony; we are a country of immigrants but we can’t seem to accept them. Strange.

My interest? Plenty. I used to play the violin, then I got involved with Drama, public speaking, and now I prefer to be behind-the-scenes and observe people. Writing is my first love, and I continue to do so, but most of the time I prefer critical discussions with the people in my life; my husband (yes, yes, I married young), my close friends and anyone who have the same concerns as I do. I interned at the People’s Association last semester and I have a love for all things heartland and grassroots, but I can’t stand uncouth behaviour and loudmouth aunties who only care about Progress Package. And I definitely can’t stand people who pretend to sleep and won’t give up their seats to old aunties and obviously PREGNANT ladies.

I am easily grateful and pleased with what I have. And I have a yearning for constantly knowledge-seeking. Hope you will enjoy finding out more about the Chinese here in Singapore. I took up the challenge towards a group of people who, on the surface, may not seem to affect me. But they are here and I can’t help noticing them, and I want to know more about them. Cheers!